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One of the hardest parts about changing behaviour is our self talk. It doesn't matter what we are trying to change, the same statements are often made:
'I'm hopeless' 'She's better than me' 'Nothing goes right for me'
Sometimes we use these statements as support to back up opinions of our self. If you listen to elite sportsperson, they are just the opposite even after a bad loss.
That is not like me. I am better than that.
I will do better next time and turn it around.
They are extremely good at using self talk and affirmations to boost themselves and also to not give their opponents extra confidence.
Lleyton Hewitt is an excellent example. Love him or hate him he is a master at self talk. Here we have someone who almost every match is probably giving away 10-15 cm in height and a great amount of power. And yet he is acknowledged for being one of the toughest players to play against because he has extreme confidence in himself to win every time he steps on the court.
What you must be aware of, is that changing your behaviour isn't going to happen overnight. You may find resistance with your self talk a big culprit. That is why the use of affirmations should be used to continually reinforce the new you in the battle against the old you. Remember to congratulate yourself every time you achieve one of your goals, no matter how small. These include:
1. Not debting for a day 2. Being under the weekly shopping budget 3. Managing to control your individual latte factor (see in the budgeting subsection)
Congratulate yourself with some positive self talk, not with the wallet.
Affirmations can be used in all areas of your life to assist with your personal development. Whether for family, business/work, social, sporting or spiritual.
An affirmation is a statement of fact or belief written out in a positive, present tense form as though the goal was already accomplished.
The simple, easy way of writing an affirmation is look at the problem. Then describe in one simple sentence what it would be like if we did not have the problem.
Some examples to use:
As previously explained, affirmations need to be read out aloud a couple of times a day. Try and work out for yourself the best time to do so. You only need a couple of minutes each time when you are alone.
Some suggestions are:
In the bathroom, while getting ready for the day.
In the car.
Walking to work.
It is crucial that you follow through with what you set out to do. These include:
The last point is so important. People in trouble with debt often feel isolated and don't speak to anyone. Not having someone to discuss your wins and losses can be very painful and lead to a sense of hopelessness. Try and find someone who can offer support.
Priorities: One of the problems you may face is making decisions over what to spend money on or, closer to the mark, what you will no longer spend money on. To make it easier it may be worthwhile to assess your lifestyle and set a plan for yourself, say over the next 3 months. This may be how often you will go out for dinner, have take away, shopping trips (with maximum spending limit), etc. By having a plan it will be easier to avoid spending temptations.
A friend of mine has a favourite saying 'Life is full of choices'. Too often we buy things and back up the purchase by making comments like "we had to have it". In fact you most likely had a choice.
You probably would make statements like:
'I need a mobile phone'
'Red wine is recognised as being good for you'
'The soft drink was on special'
'The children love those as a snack'
'The DVD's are great for a rainy day'
With your grocery shopping it is preferable to have a weekly spending limit that is spent in cash. It really makes you weigh up the need for each particular item. Yes, it can be scary at the checkout, but also very satisfying when you are under your budget. If necessary put items back.
Your basic needs are food, water, accommodation and clothes. What kind and everything beyond that are the choices you make.
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